To Be or Not to Be

When my son was in 4th grade he came in from riding his bike one Saturday afternoon and asked me what a MILF was.  It  took me a few minutes to jog my memory as to where I had heard that before and when it finally popped into my head, OH! That's American Pie, the movie... I was mortified.  I quickly blurted out.  I have no idea turned, and ran into the laundry room to hide my embarrasment behind the dryer door until I could regain my composure.  After all, what the hell was I supposed to say. 

So now the kid is in High School and his school mates in the lunch room asked him if his Mom is a Jaguar Cheerleader, yesterday. Is it cool to be the "hot" Mom or not? At this point I am thinking, not. 

Seems that my high schooler's friends have started to make him feel uncomfortable.  Which, makes me uncomfortable.  He's going through enough adjustment being a ninth grader this year.  He doesn't need anything else to make him feel like he doesn't fit in.  It's hard enough coming here from Miami and being half latin.  Don't get me wrong, I love where I reside.  I call it my very own Mayberry.  But, you know being from Miami and moving to suburban Jacksonville isn't always easy when it comes to fitting in.  So, now we are both screwed.  The soccer Moms will have nothing to do with me (which I don't mind) because I don't fit the mold here.  Thank God.  But, my high schooler's friends mothers don't want me around their kids because I am not 25 pounds overweight and dress like I shopped the sales rack at Talbots.  I don't let my hair turn grey 4 inches from my roots before I run to the nearest CVS, and I wear make up when I go out somewhere nice.  I care about my appearance and I feel I work at "staying attractive" for my husband.  So, I guess the other Moms don't want me around their kids or husbands, for that matter because the husbands are dumb enough to make comments like.  Wow, she's really nice.  (We all know what that means)  Or, She seems so down to earth.  Or, the death sentence statement.  She always looks so nice or even better "so put toghether". DONE.... I am done!, totally screwed. To top it all off, I drive a lowered car not a mini van or an Expedition.  So, I have been ostracized  from the "Soccer Mom" scene.  Seriously, I am a member of the PTO and when I sign up for volunteer work or purchases for the school, noone, I mean NO ONE ever calls me.  I've even called them and they kindly say in their sweet as pie, southern drawl.  Oh, no honey it's quite all right.  Mary Sue already baked those 200 cup cakes by herself.  Whatever!  I guess I should start answering okay fine, but your son Bobby says he likes my cup cakes better.  )ha- ha - ha - lol!)  I know that was just wrong... Funny, but wrong. 

My poor son.  I guess this will be another life lesson that helps build character.  I am sure one day he will look back and be proud.